Turds
The Turd Gaming Universe

Three games. One toilet.

Same turds, same weapons, same terrible jokes, three completely different games. All free, all in your browser, no download.

Turn-based artilleryTurdsThe original. Squads of wobbly turds, 73 weapons, 18 toilets. Blow holes in the floor and knock the other lot into the bowl. Game modesEvery weaponThe voices Play free →
Kart racerTurd KartsEight drivers, 26 tracks, 15 items. A motorised bathtub, a toilet-roll tank and a rainbow made of loo roll. Tracks and drivers Play free →
Third-person shooterTURDS-3DSeventeen maps, 17 modes, nine classes, 70 weapons in real time, up to 32 players. Maps and modes Play free →
What carries across

Learn one, you know all three.

  • The same turdsSavage Granny, the Posh Butler, the Drill Sergeant and the rest are in all three games, with the same faces and the same voices.
  • The same arsenalThe Turds armoury turns up everywhere: the Corn Rocket, the Holy Plunger, the Big Flush and the Number Two Nuke are a weapon here, a kart item there and a real-time gun in the shooter.
  • The same rude jokesNineteen recorded voices, over a thousand lines, and one switch in Settings that cleans the lot up.
  • The same placesUranium Uranus, 2Shit, the sewer works and the porta-loo festival show up as a toilet map, a race track and a shooter arena.
  • The same modes, played three waysCapture the Loo Roll, Golden Turd, Toilet Tag and Pass the Plunger are turn-based in Turds, a race in Karts and a firefight in 3D.
  • One accountSign in with StarHermit once. Same friends list, same invites, and achievements that will unlock things in the other games.

Go on. Flush someone.

Play free now

Free in your browser. No download.